This girl is more easily done than said...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
