I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
