but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
