So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
