kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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