i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
