I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
