Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
PANTIES FOUND
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