i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
