The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
