wakey wakey hands off snakey
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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