Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize