Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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