areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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