we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
