i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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