Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
