And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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