real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
