i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
