i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
