My liver just broke up with me...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
50% drunk capacity currently
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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