So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
