turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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