Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
3pm strippers are depressing
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
