Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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