Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
