ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
