just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
