She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
