I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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