But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
