He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize