New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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