oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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