I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
