You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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