Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
