Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Enjoy the penises
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize