Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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