Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize