in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
