we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
