just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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