that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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