Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
