I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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