and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize