I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
our cab driver is having phone sex.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
