I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
