Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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