he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
