Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
