I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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