If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
soo... how was my night?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize