So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
