Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
