The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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