she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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