I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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