What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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