reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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