apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
