I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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