yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
