So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
