Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
