U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
