You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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