Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
